Life together seems to be a logical continuation of the care period and romantic meetings. But not for everyone. That if, instead of a joyful anticipation, the proposal to live together is caused by fright? What is behind this fear?
We have been meeting for two years. He recently invited me to move to him. I like him, we are well together. But now I am so afraid that one desire is – to yell at him, quarrel and part. I need to collect things for moving, and I come up with excuses (either I got sick, then there is a lot of work). Maybe in fact I don’t love him?
Alla, 27 years old, Irkutsk
Ekaterina Mikhailova, psychotherapist
So, Alla, instead of the joy of a proposal to crucify you. You perceive your fear as a basis for doubts about feelings. They are even ready to provoke a gap (this is completely in vain – not because your friend is so beautiful, it’s just not the most healthy way to solve problems). You are not a young girl, you are thirty, life is somehow established. And you understand that moving and a common house is something radically different, adult. Relations will inevitably change. You both learn about each other a lot. And most importantly-you will learn something about yourself, and this is happening https://notariat-hempel.de/oficialnyj-sajt-7k-ajfon-i-android/ now.
For example, it became clear that you are scared by a meeting with reality when you are visible to each other from close range, at different times of the day and in different moods. Когда возникает сто маленьких выборов по ста вопросам: чьи привычки главные, кто и когда просыпается, что кого задевает. If people are “good together”, all this is easier, but in any case, relationships enter the new phase, which is always not easy.
It is difficult to think in a state of panic, but it’s worth considering what you were so frightened by-proximity, dependence, some truth about yourself, the prose of life or something else? While you are more likely to hide from this knowledge. But any relationship, changes and experience are given to us in order to learn something about the world and about ourselves.
